It’s easy to forget these days, what with the now-completed Skywalker Saga and the wide assortment of spin-off features, Disney+ series, animated series, toys, games and LEGO sets, but there was a time when Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope, that is) was a really, really, really, really big deal. It was one of the first modern blockbusters, launched the very idea of toy merchandizing, kicked off a popular line of Marvel Comics and was promptly re-released in theaters… all before the Star Wars Holiday Special aired on CBS in November of 1978.
Was that TV special a big enough deal to pre-empt the regularly scheduled episode of The Incredible Hulk? Hell yeah, it was.
I remember watching the Star Wars Holiday Special on TV as a kid. I was a Star Wars kid, naturally: I had the action figures, the blaster, the bed sheets, so I absolutely hunkered down in our rec room to watch my favorite heroes from the comfort of my own home on television.
I don’t remember the details of that initial viewing. I do remember how excited I was to see it, and how that excitement drained away over the course of those two long hours (I can't imagine the commercial breaks helped). It is, to my recollection, the first time I ever experienced soul-crushing disappointment.
Directed by Steve Binder, 1978, 97 minutes, TV-PG
A happy Life Day to all, and to all a good “ARRRGGHHHH!”
We open with urgent music as the Millennium Falcon urgently flees from a pair of Star Destroyers. Han Solo urgently flips switches and toggles as Chewbacca urgently roars at him, because he eager to get home for Life Day. Sure, they’re being chased by intergalactic space Nazis, but Chewie doesn’t want his roast rancor to get cold! So Han light speeds us into a cheap recreation of the Star Wars logo, and the CBS Special Presentation announcer promises that the special will “star” the original cast of the hit film. Unfortunately, the CBS Special Presentation announcer is a filthy liar.
I mean, yes, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, et al, do appear in the special – and not as stock footage (looking at you, Darth Vader) – but the actual stars of the show are Chewbacca’s relatives. We’re introduced to Chewie’s wife, Malla; his father, Itchy; and his son, Lumpy. No, I’m not making up those names. The lion’s share of the 97-minute runtime takes place in Casa de Chewbacca as the family waits for Chewie to come home for Life Day, which means some 60% of the special consists of performers in repurposed bigfoot costumes gesturing at each other while yelling “ARRRGGHHHH!”
The Star Wars Holiday Special is ultimately a Star Wars-themed variety show so we get a variety of acts, most of which range from “not so good” to “how much cocaine?” These included:
- A hologram performance by the best version of Cirque du Soleil that 1978 had to offer
- A cooking show starring Harvey Korman as a four-armed Space Julia Child making “bantha surprise”
- “Live, un-edited” footage from Tatooine, where bartender Bea Arthur has to deal with the advances of Harvey Korman and a whole cantina of patrons who don’t want to go home
- Another hologram performance, this time by Jefferson Starship (I will bet you real money that they were asked to join the show because the band had “starship” in its name), featuring new singer Marty Balin singing into a glowing popsicle
- Another video starring Harvey Korman, only this time as a malfunctioning android in an instructional video on how to create a mini-transmitter, which is exactly as exciting as it sounds
I did leave two particularly notable segments from that list. The first is an animated feature that would later be carved out and titled “The Story of the Faithful Wookiee,” which features the first appearance of Boba Fett. It’s an interesting introduction to the character, as he shows up riding a space brontosaurus and wielding a giant tuning fork. He also speaks more in this nine-minute feature than he does in the entirety of the original trilogy. I don’t know what the animators did to Harrison Ford’s face here, but this is the most entertaining segment of the special by a country mile.
And then there’s the segment where Itchy watches a 1978-style VR performance by Diahann Carroll that leaves Itchy… uh, highly stimulated. Whenever people would bring up this segment in the past, I thought they were exaggerating or reading into things. They are not. The less said about this, the better.
These segments are broken up by scenes with Art Carney as a Rebel-friendly neighborhood trader, Han and Chewie being chased by stock footage of TIE fighters, and FaceTime calls to Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. It all wraps up with the family reunited (sorry for the 40something year-old spoiler) and a truly trippy Life Day ceremony that involves Wookiees in red robes, teleporting, and a holiday song by a very game Carrie Fisher.
Wikipedia states that the Star Wars Holiday Special was ranked #3 in “The Five Goofiest Moments of the Star Wars Mythos” by the UK’s Star Wars magazine. I couldn’t verify that, but I wish I could because I’m dying to know what two moments were considered goofier.
Maybe this special was only ranked #3 because it's more painfully bad than delightfully bad. The fact that this special was so hard to find definitely gave it some notoriety over the years, so that's something. I do love that this thing exists as a cultural touchstone, something for even casual fans to point to and say, “How weird is that?!” Just don’t ask me to watch it again any time soon.
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