Modern Cult Classics: Trick 'r Treat

Back when we were doing The Lair of the Unwanted podcast, Jason Soto and I have this fun little give-and-take: Jason liked to give us horror anthologies to discuss on the show that always took away 90 minutes of my life and a small piece of my soul. Jason loves horror anthologies, something I can only attribute to all that lead paint he ate as a kid.

Or "wall candy," as Jason used to call it.

So what exactly is my beef with horror anthology movies? I find them lazy. The condensed runtime seems to give the filmmakers an excuse to roll out extra cardboard-y characters for easy identification, they usually lean that much harder on poorly executed jump scares, gore and random twists for shocks, and the anthology framing devise is always the hackiest, most ridiculous part of the whole hacky, ridiculous experience. In other words, pfffth!

Could there be an exception to the rule? Let us consider Trick 'r Treat.

 

Directed by Michael Dougherty, 2008, 82 minutes, Rated R
A horror anthology unicorn.

 

Trick 'r Treat earns a bit of goodwill right off the bat by jettisoning the framing device. Instead, we see that all of the stories take place on Halloween night in a Midwest town known for its annual Halloween parade and festivities. Note that I said “we see” instead of “we’re told.” Characters from previous (or in-progress) stories often appear in the background of other stories, making it very simple to track the timeline of events without blatant hand-holding.

Another novelty: Most of the stories are not told uninterrupted. Instead, the stories are interwoven – partially for the purposes of the timeline, but mostly for impact. Sadly, I will not be following suit for the purposes of this review:

The film opens with Leslie Bibb and her husband returning from a Halloween party. He loves Halloween. Her? Not so much. “I hate Halloween,” Leslie Bibb says just as I finish writing “she hates Halloween” in my notes. Whoa. Such is her distaste with the holiday that she wants to start taking down the Halloween decorations RIGHTNOW. This is a horror film, so you can imagine how well that goes over…

Earlier that evening, a gaggle of gals get themselves some sexy costumes in anticipation of a sexy evening. Sexy Cinderella, Sexy Snow White and Sexy Little Bo Peep quickly pick up dates and are ready to go, but unamused Sexy Little Red Riding Hood (played by unamused Academy Award winner Anna Paquin) is unamused. Also, there appears to be an actual vampire running around. Do I have to tell you that it’s a sexy vampire? I do not.

Soon, Sexy Little Red and the sexy vampire cross sexy paths, and we get the most out-of-the-blue twist in the film – a sexy out-of-the-blue twist! This twist would later be recycled almost whole-cloth in a Halloween episode of Community, something that I somehow don’t hold against this movie or Community.

In another tale, we follow a chunky little jerk of a kid walking down the street, smashing jack o’ lanterns. He gets caught by creepy Dylan Baker, who we learn is the school principal. The Lil’ Jerk thinks he’s busted, but Principal Baker is cool with it and even gives him some candy. Surprise, the candy’s poisoned! After Lil’ Jerk power-chunks everywhere, the rest of this tale follows Principal Baker as he tries to dispose of the body without getting busted.

Meanwhile, a bunch of trick 'r treaters take a detour to an abandoned rock quarry, the site of the infamous School Bus Massacre. We get the full backstory, and then the kids take a rickety old elevator down to the bottom of the quarry. This is the most obvious of the stories (you’ll see it coming a mile away), but it’s still surprisingly effective.

And finally, Cranky Old Brian Co—HOLYSHITBRIANCOXISINTHIS!

International Treasure Brian Cox

Brian Cox is one of my all-time favorite actors. Notice I don’t say “movie stars” or “character actors” – no need for qualifying when it comes to Mr. Cox. He instantly makes okay stuff better (RED, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Super Troopers) and good stuff great (Manhunter, X-Men 2, The Bourne Identity). He’s the OG Hannibal Lecter – no extreme close-ups necessary! – and for my money, it’s not the mirror rant but Cox’s car ride monologue that’s the best part of 25^th Hour – crushes me every time. .In other words, Brian Cox is a whole lotta awesome.

Anyway, Cranky Old Man Cox gets a visit from Sam, the wordless little boy in the scarecrow hood and footie pajamas who has popped up repeatedly throughout the film. The visit does not go well for Old Man Cox. This is my favorite of the tales, partially because of the Power of Cox and partially because it’s very straightforward. It doesn’t try to be overly twist-y or clever, which means nothing is lazy or shoehorned into the story.

Okay, Jason, you win: This is such thing as a good horror anthology film.

****

 

 

 

 

Bargain Bin Review: The Beast Must Die

 

Directed by Paul Annett, 1974, 93 minutes, Rated PG
Where wolf?

 

Here’s a funny thing that happens when you start reviewing movies long enough: You start recalling obscure films you saw way, way, way back. It’s on par with discovering a long-forgotten and assumed-lost toy from your childhood. The memories are hazy at best, but the feeling – the “This is so cool!” factor – remains vivid.

This was the case with The Beast Must Die, a werewolf film I’d watched once when I was 10 or 12 some rainy afternoon. Again, I remember the broad strokes of the premise and the overall feeling (“Cool!”), but nothing more. The film popped back into my consciousness not too long ago, but like many obscure films from the ‘70s, it was nowhere to be found. Every few months, I’d peak around the Internet for any trace of it, but no luck.

Then, suddenly, there is on Amazon Prime. Sweet!

In defiance of the title, The Beast Must Die opens with a ‘70s groove that wouldn’t be out of place in a Hanna-Barbera production. We watch an extended chase sequence where a Secret Agent Man escapes through a forest from a small army of henchmen. He’s having a tough time of it – there are surveillance cameras and hidden microphones everywhere – but that’s by design. We quickly learn that the our Secret Agent Man – actually a wealthy big game hunter named Tom (Calvin Lockhart) – is testing out a state-of-the-art security system for his mansion and grounds. It seems like overkill to security expert Pavel, but Tom has his reasons.

Tom and his wife, Caroline, have invited a handful of renowned acquaintances (including Peter Cushing and a young Michael Gambon!) to their mansion for the weekend. Tom reveals that of all his hunting expeditions, there’s just one creature that has alluded him: a werewolf. And with all of the guests’ skeletons involving grisly murders and/or cannibalism (!), Tom is confident that one of them is a werewolf. The question is who…

That’s right: The Beast Must Die is set up as a mystery, making it unique among werewolf movies. Here’s the opening text, accompanied by suitably creepy narration:

This film is a detective story – in which you are the detective. The question is not 'Who is the murderer?' – But 'Who is the werewolf?'

The gimmick comes complete with an awkwardly titled “Werewolf Break,” where the film literally halts to allow the audience to consider the past 80 minutes and parse out clues.

Much of the film is spent slowly doling out suspicions. This one tried to escape the mansion! That one has really hairy hands! Tom lays it on thick, putting out bushels of blooming wolfsbane, prompting Peter Cushing’s Dr. Lundgren for quasi-scientific mumbo-jumbo, and serving the bloodiest prime rib ever put to film. An interesting quirk to the film is that, while on paper it would seem that Tom is our protagonist, he absolutely antagonizes his guests (and his wife – she’s under suspicion, too) to the point where he feels like the villain of the piece.

Then, by nightfall, the full moon rises and Tom goes on the hunt. Unfortunately, for such a reputed big game hunter, Tom is a terrible shot. While the werewolf is attacking a helicopter pilot, Tom fires to save him and misses… hitting the grounded helicopter. That promptly blows up (this is a movie, after all). Also, it turns out that all of Tom’s state-of-the-art security is no match for a German Shepherd in a shaggy overcoat.

Werewolf?

Okay, I’m teasing a bit, but given the film’s budget and the alternative at the time (usually a stuntman with yak hair rubber-cemented to his face), it works just fine. And during werewolf attacks, it definitely adds a sense that the person is fighting off a beast.

My biggest beef with The Beast Must Die is that it does a terrible job with the actual mystery aspect. It would have been great if Tom used armchair detective-style deductive reasoning to reveal the identity of the werewolf, thus showing the viewers that clues that had been planted throughout the film. Nope. Instead, Tom makes everyone put a silver bullet in their mouth – a practical approach, but one that undercuts the whole “you are the detective” conceit.

Still, there are a couple of nice twists that turn up very late in the film, and it’s a fun approach on what can be a very formulaic sub-genre. Anyone interested in a different take on a werewolf movie will find things to enjoy in The Beast Must Die.

***

'Bin Special: Werewolf by Night

 

Directed by Michael Giacchino, 2022, 53 minutes, TV-14
“And woe to the monster who finds itself among them.”

 

What is this? Anything out of the Industrial MCU Complex is clearly not Bargain Bin material, it’s too new for a Modern Cult Classic, it’s not even a feature film. But damn, that trailer!

With this Halloween special, the MCU officially dips its toes into the horror realm of its comics line. Yes, that is a thing. A long-running thing, which includes such characters as:

• Ghost Rider
• Blade
• Morbius the Living Vampire (meme and all)
• Frankenstein’s Monster (God bless public domain)
• Man-Thing, who should not be mixed up with
• Manphilbian
• N’Kantu the Living Mummy (yes, seriously)
• And the headliner of this feature, Werewolf by Night

 

So what’s Werewolf by Night’s deal? He’s… uh… (checks notes) yeah, he’s a werewolf.

Werewolf by Night kicks off with the news that Ulysses Bloodstone, famed monster hunter, has died. His widow, Verussa, summons a collection of fellow monster hunters – including Jack Russell (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Verussa’s estranged stepdaughter, Elsa Bloodstone (Laura Donnelly) – to Bloodstone Manor. The group is not so much there to pay their respects to the late Ulysses as they are to compete for ownership of the coveted Bloodstone, a powerful gem that’s essentially a Junior Varsity Infinity Stone. To do that, they need to search the manor’s large maze (a standard fixture in these kind of old timey manors) to hunt down a dangerous monster trapped within its walls. To say more would be to ruin the story, but needless to say twists and turns ensue.

The story is solid, but what really makes this worth a watch is the overall feel of the feature. While the era of the story’s setting is left (purposefully, I imagine) vague, the aesthetics of Werewolf by Night leans heavily on the classic Universal monster movies. It’s all shadows and mood and crackling audio track – gorgeous. None of this to say that Werewolf by Night is toothless. Far from it, for this might be the MCU’s goriest entry to date – it’s just that the nastier bits of gore and violence are blunted in black and white (hence the TV-14 rating, which was a surprise to director Michael Giacchino).  

Werewolf by Night does move to color during its final minutes, which was actually a bit disappointing because I would have happily stayed in that classic horror aesthetic for a whole series of Marvel horror installments. Obviously, I have no idea what plans (if any) Marvel has for its horror properties. But hopefully they’ll do something, because it definitely feels like Marvel unlocked a fresh new wing of storytelling in the same way Guardians of the Galaxy unlocked cosmic stories – only  with a completely self-contained tale. I can’t help but feel this is exactly the kind of thing the MCU should do more often.